Nearly 3 out of every 1,000 people in the U.S. go through a divorce each year, according to the CDC.
Going through such a process doesn’t just mean you separate from your spouse, though. You also have to divide your family unit, meaning you and your former partner have to come up with a plan for child custody.
All of these discussions can take a toll on you as parents. But the discord can affect your children, whether you’re going through child custody agreements along with a divorce or formalizing them after a stretch of post-divorce contention.
As you navigate child custody proceedings, keep in mind the following ways in which they may hurt your child — and tread lightly.
Short-Term Side Effects of a Child Custody Battle
There’s nothing you can do about the fact that most children struggle emotionally when their parents divorce. The first year tends to be the hardest for them — they deal with extra stress, which can lead to behavioral problems or academic issues.
Most children will feel unhappy, in general, knowing they have to split time between their parents. If there’s tension at drop-offs and pick-ups, that will only add to the sadness and discomfort they feel. And lots of kids go on to struggle with self-esteem in the wake of their parents’ split, particularly if they engage in a difficult custody battle.
The best thing you can do to help them through such a difficult time in their lives is to talk to them. Make it very clear to your kids that they have nothing to do with your divorce. And keep the details of your child custody proceedings far from your children, too — they may feel more guilt or stress knowing that your fight continues over them.
If you are just beginning to navigate the process, you should reach out to a lawyer through their website or phone number ASAP. That way, you can get through your divorce as smoothly as possible and start healing as a family.
Long-Term Issues Caused by Child Custody Proceedings
Some children won’t suffer long-term effects from their parents’ bitter custody battle or divorce. If you follow the above steps, they should, eventually, settle into life with each of you leading separate lives.
Kids who don’t heal properly tend to continue struggling with stress, though. They often struggle in school long after the divorce is finalized. Some will even partake in risky behaviors, such as drinking and taking drugs.
Again, much of this can be avoided if divorced parents make a commitment to their children. Creating stable, albeit separate, households for your children and presenting a united front can work wonders. Don’t let the stress of custody proceedings or divorce get in the way of your first role as a parent.
Be Strong For Your Kids
Figuring out child custody won’t be easy, but doing it with care can help your kids adjust to their new normal. And that, in turn, will help you adjust to life as a single parent, too.
Need more parenting and lifestyle tips? Check back with us regularly for the latest.
