This post was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.
Your personality is something you’ve been uniquely developing since you were young. It can be influenced by biological traits and your environment and is generally made up of your thoughts, behavior, and emotional reactions. When it comes to being around certain groups of people – coworkers, friends, family, or even strangers – do you notice that there may be slight variations of your personality? While some people may shift their behavior because they’re trying to hide something about their personality, the need to adjust habits and manners is a common occurrence for most individuals.
Acting Different Around Others
Personality shifts can happen when you’re trying to fit into a crowd, influence others, or even without you realizing a change has happened. While some people may have a more flexible personality than others, it’s not uncommon to adjust your language or tone between different groups. Consider the following scenario: you’re going to meet up with a friend for coffee in the morning, then host a meeting for work, and finally have dinner with visiting relatives in the evening. Do you think your demeanor or character would change between these interactions? If anything, your level of formality with each situation will adjust at the very least.
While this is all evidence that slight to even drastic changes are normal in daily interactions, some people wonder whether they need to make conscious adjustments to their personalities. This could be for a number of reasons: meeting your significant other’s family for the first time, going out to lunch with coworkers, or being introduced to a new friend group. How much of your behavior should shift in these kinds of interactions and should you feel the need to hide or withhold certain aspects of your personality for anyone?
Do You Need to Change?
There may be times when you want to change certain aspects of yourself in an effort to be more outgoing, less negative, or even to feel similar to your friends. These adjustments can be seen as personal development and broadening your social skills. It’s important to remember that changes to your personality should be about improving your self-confidence instead of just trying to fit into a crowd.
You shouldn’t necessarily feel the need to make drastic changes to yourself in order to please others. This can not only harm your self-image but can also affect relationships with those around you. While it’s important to work on self-improvement by understanding negative reactions, reducing problematic habits, or trying to change your lifestyle, these shouldn’t make you uncomfortable. If an adjustment to your personality is making you question yourself, it may be time to consult a trusted member of your support system and determine if the change is really for your benefit.
Being Considerate of Your Surroundings
Sometimes, changing your personality is less about pleasing people and more about “reading the room.” For example, even if you’re an outgoing and socially interactive person, you wouldn’t necessarily host a giant party for a more introverted friend. When around this person, being more reserved puts you two on a relatable level that makes them feel comfortable; on the other hand, they may go out with you and a large group of friends on occasion to also participate in things you enjoy. These changes that you make for each other aren’t changing the fundamentals of your personalities in a negative way; rather, they’re the selfless adjustments made in an effort to show you care.
Being considerate of the personalities and behaviors of those around you isn’t about changing the core of your being. Instead, it’s about being able to adjust yourself to work well with others and create a comfortable environment. The balance to altering your personality is about being happy with yourself while also encouraging others to be themselves. You shouldn’t feel the need to make extreme accommodations for others – but there’s also nothing wrong with tweaking your personality for those around you, either. To dive deeper into different personalities, read some of the articles available here.
