Every marriage can go through a rough patch, but you have a sneaking suspicion that your latest tough time is here to stay.
You know that it’s normal for couples to argue, but recently, it seems like all you do is disagree. You never like to jump to conclusions, but you’re wondering if your recent arguments and feelings of malaise are signs of divorce.
The warning signs for divorce shouldn’t be ignored. If you find yourself constantly googling the phrase “am I headed for divorce”, keep reading so you can learn the warning signs of divorce to see if your inklings are right.
The Top 7 Signs of Divorce: A Definitive Guide
Some people claim that they were shocked when they learned that their partner was planning on filing for divorce, but it’s rare for a divorce to come out of the blue. In some cases, hindsight can be 20/20. When some people look back on their relationship they clearly see the signs:
1. You Always Feel Lonely
You see your partner a lot throughout the day and can reach them almost anytime through a quick call or text. Despite being able to see and talk to them whenever you want to, you still feel lonely.
Feeling lonely when you’re married could be a sign that you and your partner aren’t connecting like you used to.
Take some time to think about why you’re feeling so lonely. Understanding those deeper feelings of loneliness could be what you need to do to truly understand where your marriage stands.
2. Your Sex Life Is Dismal
Maybe you and your partner haven’t had sex in months. You may be having a lot of sex, but it feels performative and isn’t much fun for you. It’s even possible that you and your partner seem more interested in pornography than being sexually intimate.
Either way, you look at it, you’re seriously dissatisfied with your sex life. Sex is a very important part of every marriage. That’s why it can be a good barometer for relationships.
3. There’s a Serious Lack of Trust
When some people think about reasons they’d stop trusting their partner infidelity is usually on the top of people’s lists. While it’s true that an affair can do a lot to damage trust between partners, you don’t need to cheat to lose your partner’s trust.
Hiding money or debt from a partner can cause serious trust issues. Doubting that your husband or wife can watch the kids safely can be a trust problem. A partner that can’t assume that their spouse has their best interests in mind is someone with trust issues.
It’s also important to note that a lack of trust can cause problems in other ways. If you can’t trust what your partner says, you may not be able to believe them when they say they’re running out to the store. Eventually, the lack of trust can turn into exhausting paranoia.
4. You’re Forming an Escape Plan
You’ve shared bank accounts since you’ve been married, but all of the sudden, you’re interested in having an account of your own. You’ve done a few searches for apartment rental prices in the area, and have even chatted with a lawyer friend about what a division of assets could look like for you and your spouse.
There’s a big difference between searching for a few marriage advice articles online and actively planning for things to not work out. Take time to think about some of the actions you’ve taken recently and consider how they reflect on the state of your marriage.
It’s okay to prepare for a rainy day, but some people may be prepping because they see clear storm clouds on the horizon.
5. Counseling Hasn’t Worked
You’ve been to couple’s counseling and you each have your own individual therapist. After months of work and careful input from professionals, you still don’t feel like anything has changed.
Therapy can help people sort out their issues and could even bring some couples closer together, but it’s not a magic cure-all for marriage problems. It’s possible to do everything “right” and still feel like you want to get a divorce.
A lot of people view therapy as a last resort for couples. If you’ve both been putting in the work and still feel like your marriage is in trouble, it could be time to consider divorce.
6. You Don’t Fight Anymore
If you and your spouse have been arguing a lot a sudden end to the disagreements could be seen as a good sign. You may be happy that you aren’t arguing anymore, but that’s far from a sign that things are better.
This may seem strange, but the occasional argument can be good for a marriage. An argument can show that both people feel comfortable expressing themselves and want to work towards a solution.
Arguments that stop seemingly out of the blue could be a sign that you or your partner is disengaged from the relationship. You’re no longer interested in making things work, so why waste more time on a fight?
7. You’re Overly Concerned About Appearances
Your marriage has been on the rocks for a while, but someone looking at your Instagram account wouldn’t know that. Despite all of the fears and doubts you have about your marriage, your social media profiles show a literal picture-perfect marriage.
If you’re more concerned about how people see your marriage than you are about the state of your marriage, you could be heading for divorce.
It isn’t uncommon for people to overcompensate in public if their private relationships are lacking. Take time to think about why you need so many happy selfies with your spouse if you’re miserable.
Start Living Your Best Life
Are you starting to notice signs of divorce in your life? You may be experiencing one sign on our list, or may even see all 7 signs. Regardless of what you see, you should always talk to your partner about your relationship before you make any decisions.
You may be thinking about the next steps to take now that you think your marriage is in trouble. Is it time to talk to a lawyer? Should you think about getting in shape? Do you need a new therapist?
If you need life advice, you’ve come to the right place. Browse our posts so you can find help with whatever next steps you take.
